One of those mornings that turn into the day.

I knew since yesterday was a complete rock star Mom day that today wouldn't be the same. Like my friend said "what goes up must come down." Boy could she not of been more correct. I woke up about 7:30am even though I didn't go to sleep until 1 am. So not great start since I was hitting the gym w/ a girlfriend for an hour of cardio followed by a sculpt class. Did I mention I finished a hard core boot camp class the night before at 8pm? Anyway..I come downstairs with the baby we eat everythings fine, sister comes down happy as can be and then about 8:15 when we need to leave at 8:55 Gavin, the 3 yr old, comes down crying. Why? He doesn't know. Just crying but he's not tired and I'm sure it's not any milk or egg reaction to the 2 boxes of girl scout cookies that he and his sister ate while I was trying to work. So he doesn't want anything to eat just for me to hold him and I have to take him to the gym and he's the least favorite of the play ground gym. So I bribe him with things we'll get after the gym when he's a good boy which I know he'll be. His 'cool' jeans are in the dryer. Everyone else is dressed, happy and ready to go. Daddy's sleeping in because he got home late and has overtime on friday. He decides to wake up about 3 minutes before we have to leave. Hears me telling the irrational 3 year old that the short sleeve shirt is fine but decides to change it anyway. Since we're not in the car I had to race out the door to take the oldest to preschool and come back for the other two. I get back 5 minutes later and still not better and I ask my husband why he had to change his shirt after he heard me tell the 3 year old twice that his shirt was fine. He said "I thought I was helping you." Really? It's pointless to get up and help me 3 minutes before we leave when you know I'm leaving in 3 minutes. uggghhh. So off we go to the gym. Baby's fine, 3 year old crying. Now he tells me 1/2 way there he has to poop. Great! I'm already late meeting my friend, who also got there early, so I tell him he has to hold it and if he stops crying he won't go in his pants. Get to the gym, run inside and he doesn't have to go. Of course he doesn't. Change the baby's diaper and run up to meet my friend. So now my hour of cardio is 20 minutes and then the class. The instructor has 0% body fat (or negative if you can be that) and tells us if we don't answer her loud enough she'll keep doing an exercise til she feels we do. So my legs are shaking like a chihuaha (which is what she says) and then tells us if we want a nice butt then get our asses down! I leave the class feeling good but a little scared and then off to lunch. I feel like my day might recover when I get a call from my girlfriend telling me we have to register the kids for kindergarten. So it's going to be one of those mornings that turn into one of those days.

My dirty little secret (well one of them)

My husband works swing shift. Right now it's great. He's around in the morning to help with the kids and they get to see him a lot more than most Dad's. If we don't have preschool or tumbling we can go for bike rides together. Or we all ride Finley to school and then go for a ride or to the park. It's great. But sometimes at night when everyone else's husband is home for dinner and hanging out and the night is winding down it's a little lonely. One day I love it the next I don't. Today it was great to have him home to pick up Finley from school while I ran to the doctors and got to go without kids! Crazy that I'm excited to go for a physical just because I get to go without the kids. But sometimes I want to do something for me on a day that I'm willing to put everything that 'needs' to get done aside to do something that I 'want' to get done. My dirty little secret is sometimes I get a baby sitter to do something I don't really need a babysitter for. So today I texted the babysitter asked if she was available for an hour and called a friend and said "come meet me for a pedicure." So in the middle of the day with a dirty house waiting for me and laundry piled up I went to get a pedicure. I felt like I was seriously guilty and doing something bad and I was going to get caught! It wasn't that I was doing something bad it's just I got a baby sitter to get a pedicure. I could of waited for my husband to be off work to do it but we're busy and there isn't always time. Plus men feel that some things are 'worth' watching the kids for and some aren't. Like I could of just said I was grocery shopping and then threw in a pedicure and not mentioned it. The friend I met had just finished getting her hair done and she told him it ran late and she had to buy some hangers. :-) What a woman won't do for her feet rubbed! Like I always say too. If it makes me feel better it'll make me a better Mother! Just keep it between us it'll be our secret.

Just an hour

We all know how busy we are with the kids. Doesn't matter if you have 1 or 5 we're all super busy. Except 3 is harder than 1 you just think with 1 that it's super hard. Then you have more and you laugh at yourself. I signed up for a massage a month. I have an hour a month to spend on myself. Don't I? Apparently not. Aching muscles, stuff out of alignment wah wah wah. So I called in reinforcements. My Mommy friend who lives up the street. I'm watching her handsome little guy while she gets her teeth pulled this week. So I asked for an hour and she came down. I got an appointment with someone who's supposed to be good (and he was) and went off for my hour. He asked where my trouble spots were and I told him all over and we got started. As soon as he touched my back he said "man it's like a board of concrete." Yes it is that's why I"m here. I need some help. Nice conversation, a little painful on the massage but knots are out and now I'm better. When I left I asked when I get to have my next one and was told I missed last month so I have another one. While I was super excited to hear this I couldn't help but think "seriously I don't have an hour for something for me?! I mean SERIOUSLY!" That's crazy! I roll my eyes at people who say they don't have an hour to do something. It's not like I don't do anything for myself but to actually have about 2 hours (drive time) with a husband or babysitter around and then do something for myself. I do a thousand things a day for the kids and hubby and then try to keep up with the housework and everything and before I know it my weeks over. So I've decided you need to put it in your book. Don't pencil it in put it in pen. Big fat red marker that says from this time to this time I'll be gone. Make it happen. I'm going to start doing that for me too because it makes me feel better. I'm a better person and Mom just to have a little bit of time for myself. Honestly if I can have 3 kids under the age of 5, be getting ready for a big consignment sale, just got home from a trip and have clients and still find that hour anyone can. But now I've got to go and clean up all that got put aside today so I could relax :-)

Are we there yet?

I know all kids ask this question on any car ride that lasts longer than 4 minutes but sometimes it's just stupid. We'll be out in the middle of the desert with not a thing in sight and one of the kids will say "are we there yet?" I've started to answer yes to this just because of the absurdity. "Yes we're home isn't that your house next to the cactus?" You know once you get all packed up even if the kids are all excited to go to wherever it is your going your going to hear the question that is annoying the 1st time and the 43rd time. When the kids were much younger we drove thru the night becasue it was easier. Now they're older so we can have them watch movies and reward them with a happy meal and some silly toy but since they're awake you know your getting the question. My husband started to ask the kids if we were there yet to see if it annoyed them but it just made them laugh. My oldest used to be the only one to ask it until her brother discovered the art of copying what his sister said. I am sure some day I'll miss those questions but for now...Are we there yet?

Vacation trade offs

You know how you go on vacation with your kids and your friends and your trying to hang out with your friends and trade off parenting duty? It's like this little dance of switching off but you both feel that the spouse isn't maybe doing their share. "Can you watch them while I do this?" and then they're like "can you watch them while I do this?" I love going on vacation but I think deep down your love being with your kids but then you really want to hang out with your friends like you did before kids. You know you know what I'm talking about. I love getting together with my friends and I have no desire (not really) to leave my kids but then when we're having fun trying to play a game or something but then each Mom is getting up getting this one a drink that one a snack your really wishing you didn't have little people to take care of. I love my little people but wish I could go on vacation and hang out with friends and have someone else watch them and take care of them for the weekend. If I'm being real :-)

I want to bring the kids. Right?

So I grew up overseas. Wonderful life, travelled everywhere, grateful for everything. The only problem is now I'm a grown up. Dad's not paying for the tickets and tickets for a family of 5 are expensive. But I need to put my feet on foreign soil. So we were going to visit Grandma and Grandpa in England and then have them babysit while we went up to Scotland with friends. Best of both worlds, can't wait! Called Grandma and she's not healthy enough to do it. Bummer for us but more worried about Grandma. So we decide to move up another trip that was in the future. We're heading to Argentina to visit a girlfriend from high school and then visit my brother who is living in Brazil. Hurry and go while we don't have to pay for hotels in either place. I knowing we don't have the money to really travel on a State employee salary put everything on a credit card that earns us miles. I'm finally trading in all these miles to set off on an adventure! Now we think let's go before the little one turns 2 so we don't have to pay for a ticket. That could save us 40,000 miles and the one way ticket from Brazil to Argentina. But seriously that takes me a year to earn a ticket can't I just have him share for 19 hours? My husband says "no way, they'll be fighting over space, need to sleep and stir crazy from being on the plane." I know he's right but I'm thinking about the other travel I can't do if we have to use those 40,000 miles. If I saved them we could go onn another trip and only have to pay for like 2 tickets. So then I start thinking about going without them. That wonderful thought lasts for about 3 minutes. I think about the sightseeing I could do and how we could have long dinners and watch all the people go by. Then the thought is interrupted by how much I would miss them and what if something happened to them and what if someone got hurt and needed me to kiss them? Ugghhh brief romantic trip over. Reality back .I would never make it. I can't make it for longer than like a day and a half. So trying to reconcile with the fact that I want to bring the kids and how much fun they would have even though they wouldn't remember a thing. It'll just be a different kind of vacation. Seeing the Iguaza falls in Argentina while making sure all three kids weren't too close to the edge or my friend said they're a great place across from the government building where you can feed the pigeons and they land on you. Like the one in Italy? But all I can picture is my 3 year old who's timid about a lot screaming and running from them like crazy. It's actually a funny visual. So i guess I just need to get the new kind of traveling in my head and realize it will be just as much fun if not more than the old way. Someday when I'm old I'll get to travel again without kids and then I'll probably want to bring my grandkids. Right?

"Can I help you make it?"

I remember when my little girl was about 2 1/2 and she started to ask if she could help me make things. I always thought it was so fun. She would just stand there patiently waiting I'd hand her something to pour in and it would be such a fun experience. She was so excited whenever she helped me. Then my little boy started asking. He did pretty good but I had to ask him about 40 times not to touch whatever it was he was touching. Now they're 5 and 3 and they both want to help. Everytime they ask I think it will be so fun and then we start. They are both touching everything and asking when they can pour in their thing. No matter how many times I say "slow like a turtle" they dump it in as fast as they can it spills etc. Now both of mine are also allergic to eggs and milk. So they shouldn't be eating it in the first place (I'm not up for awards so I think we're good) but I figure a couple won't hurt. But I won't let them eat the batter once the raw eggs are in there. Don't know if it makes a difference but I kinda think it's gross so I just say no. Then when all the ingredients are in they want to stir it. Stirring brings the mess to a whole new level. If they don't stir it so fast it goes over the side they stir it and flip it up. Now when we're done cooking it looks a little bit like we had an earthquake. But after the mess is cleaned up and we're packing them up to pass out to whoever it is it's all worth it. It was worth the mess when my 3 year old loaded up her stroller to pass out her valentine's cupcakes to the neighborhood. When all 3 of us took baby Colin and passed out Christmas cookies to all our friends. We even met some nice neighbors just because Finley wanted to pass them some cupcakes. So even though I get stressed at the sound of "can I help you make it" and get anxiety during the process it's like everything else. Worth it in the end. Now off to clean up the mess and get a new pair of socks.

Under it all we're all the same

So I'm one of those people that's just friendly. I like to talk to everyone and I mean everyone. Really I guess I just like to talk. I feel weird when it's quiet and I might have to go see a therapist about it but we'll save that for later. So today I went to the indoor play area with my friend to hang out and let the kids roam free for a bit. It wasn't that busy and we scored and got a couch spot. When I got there she was sitting in an arm chair and 2 other women were sitting on the couch. I smiled at them when I sat down (got nothing in return) and started chatting with my friend. You know when you can feel someone giving you the stink eye and talking about you? I could totally tell one of the two was not liking us for some reason. Normally I could give you a hundred reasons. Maybe I talked to loud (which I do) or my kid got boogers on her stuff I don't know. But I felt it as soon as I sat down. Then she was like doing that thing where you talk too loud because you want people around you to hear your conversation. Mainly she was teaching her friend about how to wear a sling, they were talking about breastfeeding, organic eating that kind of stuff. All the same stuff my friend and I have talked about. If she had been friendlier I would of agreed with what she was talking about and we all 4 could of probably had a nice conversation and she would of realized that whatever judgements she was passing on us they were wrong. Here's the judgement from her and I can't believe it's getting ready to come out of my mouth but I think she decided what kind of mothers we were based on looks! My friend is one of those cute girls. You know the one, always been super skinny, blonde, trendy, beautiful, one of the popular girls in high school. I on the other hand have not had experience with that. I'm not saying I look like cousin it I just don't look like Cindy Crawford either. Happy with what I got (could be happier w/ nicer skin, a boob job, tummy tuck and botox but...) and really can't complain. I work hard to have a body that can strategically be tucked in in clothes to look nice and I do like to dress cute. It took me just as long to put on my rock and republic jeans and my cute sweater (sams club) as it did for this judger lady to put on her sweatshirt and jeans. You know this kind of Mom the one that hasn't lost the baby weight but also doesn't really put the effort into trying, is really opinionated about all things to do with kids, and almost goes out of her way to not look cute. The one who's giving us the looks that are based on her own insecurity. I will never understand these moms that just throw hair in a pony tail and their oldest sweats (which they probably slept in) and just go. Half the reason I want to look presentable is my kids. I also think you should at least put some effort into looking nice for your husband but that is a whole different rant. It's almost like if I wear sweats, no makeup, and don't even try to do my hair you'll know how hard I work at being a mother. You'll know I don't get enough sleep, I'm at my wits end whatever. WE all feel like that I just don't need to look like what the cat drug in. And don't judge me because I want to look cute. I want my kids to be proud of their Mom. Some days are just a sweats day. I can't be bothered to even wear a bra. Put on a sweat suit my hat and I'm gone. Today is not the day for effort. But the animosity coming from this stranger was crazy! The air was almost palpable. When the other lady pulled out her Hooter hider and started to breastfeed she seemed very uncomfortable to be doing it in front of us and I really wanted to say something to make her feel better but her friend was such a stinker. I remember the nice woman that came up to me @ a store once when my baby would not wait a minute longer to eat and the other two weren't behaving and told me she's been there. It made me feel so much better! I should of told the judger when we left that we agreed with almost everything she was ranting loudly about and if she had wanted to be friendly we could of had a nice conversation because really under it all we are all the same. We're just Mom's we all go thru the same things and do it the best we can. But it is easier to do it nicely without judgement.

If your good we'll get pizza

These words come out of my mouth all the time. It seems like I'm in Sam's club or Walmart all the time. There is never really a convenient time where someones not tired or cranky. So I'm always like "if we get done quick and your really good we'll get pizza." I'm sure rewarding them with unhealthy food isn't the smartest thing but when your desperate your desperate. Seriously sometimes I just don't have the energy to do a half hour of shopping during which I'll say 400 times "sit down, don't touch that, no we can't have that, why? because I said." People wonder why I sometimes don't return phone calls. It's because I talk so much to the kids I can't bare to hear myself speak! If it's a quick trip I can tell them let's see how fast we can get thru. So I walk or run thru the store making motorcycle or car noises and we count how fast it takes to get done with an isle. Or I say "who can see the bananas first." All this works great. In and out no problems. But if it's a big trip (uggghhhh) I promise pizza, a pretzle and sometimes a berry sundae. The sundae I never have any intention of giving to them mainly because they're allergic to milk but also because it's just not good. Usually they lose the pretzle after a couple warnings so we end up just with pizza. On a bad day (which is all of us not in the mood to go) they get pizza to start out the trip. A plate in their lap and they're usually busy eating it while I shop as fast as I can. It started out as a bribe but has really turned into something I enjoy. We shop and then order our pizza and we all sit down at the table and eat. But we eat and talk and laugh. Maybe it's because there are no destractions. I love it. I can look at my 3 beautiful kids and we relax and share a meal. Tonight I swear I could picture them as teenagers all of us sitting at the table doing the same thing. I would be telling them how when they were little I used to bribe them with pizza. It's funny but I actually can't wait to go back to Sam's club.

Free dress day.

We're on the go a lot. If it isn't preschool, tumbling, grocery store and Sam's club (my favorite b/c we can get pizza) it's play dates, the park, the gym etc. I do find it easier to go somewhere. Instead of being in the house I like to take the kids to the park maybe pack a lunch. I just find it easier and more fun. If we go to the park we wake up, eat and then pack up to go to the park before nap time. At the park or wherever we can all play, they're not in the house making a big mess. They're running free. But more importantly I'm spending real time with them. I"m not trying to throw in the laundry, clean up something, answer phone calls or deal with something that is taking my attention away. Anyway. Monday became our day that I try not to go anywhere that requires a car. We just play at the house and chill out all day. Finley's best friend is home on monday so we usually have a playdate for the day. But it's also what I call 'free dress' day. I wore a uniform to school and we would have free dress day and we could wear pretty much what we want. I let the kids pick what they want on monday. With my 5 year old. It's hit or miss. Sometimes it's cute, sometimes not so much and today it was a tank top in winter! But she got to pick it so oh well. My 3 year old is hit or miss too. He is usually really good and asks if things match and he does a great job. But lately he has taken to liking certain things and wanting to wear them all the time. Jeans that are too short, the same shirt or hoodie and he loves shirts with a saying on them. Right now it's his 'genius in training' shirt. The arms are too short which goes great with the jeans that are almost capris. As for the baby he usually gets to stay in jammies all day. I'm sure we'll always have some form of free dress for the kids but I will miss these crazy outfits they choose and how proud and excited they are to wear what they picked.

Movies- A whole different experience

I love the movies. Always have always will. I'll probably work in a theater when I get old and bored just so I can watch movies all the time. Love the whole experience. Before kids we would go all the time then meet friends out. When we were pregnant we would go and then have a nice dinner. After kids is a whole different experience. Now it's all about the movie and how much time you have. If we have a lot it's get there, popcorn and fountain coke (nothing like a real fountain coke. I have a need that would rival a crack head), then get a good spot. Ater a nice dinner. With a movie like the Hangover it was movie and then drinks. I mean come on you had to have drinks with friends and laugh about it. I like to sit off center so I can look a little sideways at the screen so no one moving around, texting or talking bugs me, preferably up high. Now that a rave theater is open I get popcorn just to be able to pour massive amounts of this sugar/cinnamon seasoning on it. I used to have a goober obsession. Put 2 in your mouth suck off all the chocolate then eat the peanuts. Now I get popcorn, extra butter, pour on the seasoning and even some extra in a napkin. That part has back fired a time or two when I forgot which napkin had the seasoning and dumped it on the floor. But anyway. If we only have a little time it's movie and then home. Don't forget I pay a sitter $7 bucks an hour. I would love to have a great dinner but dinner $45-Movie-$16-popcorn$5.50 and awesome Coke $6 then 5 hours with the sitter is $35 bucks! It better be a good movie for $100! I love the movies even more now after kids because now I can go somewhere, sit in a quiet theater, be uninterupted by the kids, phone (unless the babysitter calls) and not worry about what needs to get done. Just sit back and enjoy! I love all the previews because I'm sitting there thinking about all the fun movies I'm going to see with a friend or the hubby. I have a friend that lives behind me and she loves the movies too. So we go a lot on sundays during the kids naptimes. Makes it easier for the guys and we feel less guilty. After the preview the movie starts and then I'm off on a 2 hour quiet time. I can eat my popcorn and not share. I can lose myself in the movie. Recharge my Mommy batteries so I can be the best Mommy I can be. If it's a movie about a kick ass chick I could totally do that, if it's a uplifting show it makes me want to be a better person and if it's a love story it reminds me why I love my husband and makes me want to be a better wife. If it has children in it I'm always reminded about how much I worship my little ones. Not that I need anything to remind me of that. If it's a movie where something bad happens to a kid I can almost not bare to watch it. That is the biggest difference in watching a movie. Once your a parent it's almost impossible to see some things. But for 2 hours when I'm in that movie I'm not Mommy, not the person who gets apple juice. I'm just a happy movie goer and that's a whole different experience.

The Cost of Relaxation

The cost of relaxation. I know your thinking massage, facial, sitting in a bath tub by yourself or Mommy night out and any other thing we think about doing without kids. But today I went to an indoor play area. They were offering a free Tae Kwon Do class so I brought Finley and Gavin to see if they liked it. So we paid $15 bucks while one kid was in the class the other two were playing in the play area. They have 3 big swing sets, a little kid area to play, a place to eat and it's all enclosed. They can't leave. The place checks you out together. You can sit on the couch and watch your kids play and not worry about a stranger grabbing them while your back is turned. They can have fun and you can actually RELAX. Ahhhhhhh. I mean it's great. You can sit at a table and see every inch of the place. I never realized how nice that would be. I seriously thought. What kind of moron would pay to play on a playground inside just because it might be a little hot or cold outside. But I was so wrong. They're not paying to play. Who cares what's inside. It kept my kids entertained they played for hours and I didn't have any of those horrible thoughts when I lost track of one of the kids for a half a second. It was fabulous. I mean I'm happy if the kids are happy but this was great. I don't even think I realized how uptight I was when we would go to the park. 2 was easy but now that Colin is on the move I have 3 going in all directions and it freaks me out! It's probably post traumatic stress disorder from actually losing Finley at the park once. Gavin was probably a little under a year and I was talking to Finley and then she was gone. I started calling to her. I started looking. I then started panicking. My friend grabbed her boy and started looking with me. I started running thru the park with it's stupid cowboy themed area that blocked all view. After a couple minutes I literally started freaking out. I started screaming for her, yelling at people had they seen my daughter and this is what he was wearing. And then for a second I thought "I'm going to have to call my husband and tell him I lost our daughter. " I started to pee my pants and feel like I was going to faint. I pulled myself together and a man ran over to me and asked me what she had on and he found her. If I hadn't been so happy to see her I would of kissed him. She was hiding because she had to poop and she only went about once a week so she was so constipated when she went she would go stand somewhere and push til her eyes watered. Anyway so that is why I suffer post traumatic stress flashbacks when I go to the park. And why today I was one of those morons who paid $48 big ones to have 3 kids play on a swing set exactly like the one in their backyard for a whole month. That's the cost of relaxation..at least for a month.

Mommy and Me classes

When I had my first child I counted down the days until I could take her to a Mommy and Me class. I couldn't wait. 10 months later we're signed up for Mini Kittens tumbling class and I'm driving 45 minutes one way because that's the rec center that has it at a time that doesn't conflict with naps and is on my day off. I was so excited to go. I was hanging out with my favorite girl and was so proud to show her off. She of course had the cutest outfit, was the cutest baby and I was the happiest, best mother on earth. :-) I enjoyed every minute. I knew the words to every song and even sang them at home. When I started going with my son. I still felt the same way. I was proud to show him off, he was the cutest baby ever but the class just wasn't as fun. I wasn't under that new baby haze. I was bored doing the same thing over and over and I still thought the songs were kind of fun but I was bored while we were there. Classes started to become a place you could meet other Moms. Kind of like online dating but in person. You could chat about your kids see if you had things in common and then maybe go to the park after class to see if you guys clicked. A little like drinks first and if it's going well dinner later. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed every minute of watching my kids enjoy the class I was just bored. So if I could meet a fun Mom that was a bonus. After my last child was born I met a Mom in my son Gavin's class. Gavin and Braeden were the same age she had a little boy who was 6 weeks older than Colin and our husbands were in the same line of work. It was like finding the Holy Grail of Mom's. All of my close friends work full time so I needed a Mom to be able to get together with during the day who wasn't a complete freak. I had met so many wack jobs I was wondering if there were any good ones out there. So now I've got a Mommy to be friends with and someone to talk to inbetween 'finger poppin' and 'itsy bitsy spider.' She makes it less boring to be there and the boys have a little playgroup partner too. Plus the 3rd gets the short end of the stick anyway. There are already only like 10 pictures of the 3rd so at least I can take him to Mommy and Me class and feel a little less guilty about how much less the 3rd gets. But thank God I'm not having a 4th I don't think I could make it thru a 4th round of Mommy and me. It was fun while it lasted though.

Sometimes working at home sucks!

So when my 2nd child was about 6 months old we had been thru quite a few baby sitters. I only worked 2 days a week but he pretty much cried, ate, cried, slept and cried. It was a lot for me to deal with but even more for my husband and the other caregivers because he cried a little bit less with me. I didn't even realize then that I think I was struggling with some post partum depression but that's a whole different story. So I came home one day and my babysitter tells me she can't watch the kids anymore. I really didn't have anyone else to ask I was going to have to find a stranger to watch the kids. But before I could think of what I was going to do my babysitter asked if I could maybe stay home with them. I said "I'd love to but can't afford it." She then said the words that changed my life.."I really think you should." Instantly I felt the hairs stand up and thought why would she say that. She told me he cries so much I'm afraid someone could hurt him to get him to stop. She was a really patient girl who used to nanny so I knew that if she thought that was a possibility (and I hadn't even considered that) it was something that could happen. So I sat down called all my clients and asked them to tell me the truth. Would they come to my house for nails. If they couldn't that was fine but I needed to know how many and if we could pay the bill with who could come. Turns out almost all of them said they could and they did! So in the end of June 2007 I quit my job at the salon and started working out of the house and staying home with my kids full time! I had always wanted to stay at home full time but we needed my money too. I've never regretted that decision because it's been so great for my kids and for me but I do miss going to work and working uninterupted and having that away time. So now I have 3 kids, work at home and somedays it's great. The kids play while I work or come and entertaine my clients (most of whom love the kids) while they're getting their nails done. But some days......while I'm working the kids are getting out every toy they own, the baby is spilling all the markers and using them on the floor (thank God for washables) and generally making an hour of clean up for every hour of work. I love almost all my clients. They have become friends and I love seeing them. They're a positive part of my day. But then there are the ones who's lives are a train wreck, I see them so infrequently that what should be an hour of work is 3 and I'm exhausted from how annoying it is! Today I woke up and was excited to make a little money and get caught up cleaning the house. I was going to do my client, clean up while the kids had a friend over and then do another client. Great productive day. Instead I spent 3 hours on 1 client then had to hurry and make the kids lunch, put the baby to bed and get ready for my next client. I also had to clean up for 2 hours because the baby was in an especially destructive mood. My house is childproofed but you can't child proof toy bins. He's able to take every toy in the bin and dump it out. This morning it was markers, a box of screws (152 pickup) and dumping out an almost empty bowl of shredded wheat. So now my day is almost over. Made a little money but not all that productive unless you count putting liquid plumber down the drain. Got all the messes cleaned up and ready to start actually cleaning. So sometimes no matter how much I love being able to work here with my 3 favorite people working at home sucks!

What's rotting in your kitchen?

So I personally think I live in the best neighborhood ever. It seems like everyone is a young family with kids, we have a community pool and playground and there's plenty of places for kids to ride their bikes. If you live in Vegas you know good neighborhoods are hard to come by. With this being a 24 hour town people work all hours. But in our neighborhood it seems more like a flashback to the 50's. Most of the houses have a Mom who stays at home and a Dad who goes off to work. You can find kids all the time playing in the street and everyone waves hello. I love it here. We bought our house out here hoping this is what it'd be like. It was different when we bought our other houses. They were for us. This one was for our new baby girl. We talked about how she could ride her bike to the pool with her friends and play on the paseo. But in all that we hoped we'd have great neighbors but didn't really have a definite idea of what that would be. We had great friends that we knew would come over all the time so we didn't really need to worry about neighbors that much. Until I met some of them. We have become good friends with 3 families in our neighborhood. We all have kids the same age and we all really like each other. Husbands and wives! We hit the neighborhood friend jackpot when we met ours. Same values, same likes and we have a great time when we get together. I never really thought about how friday and saturday nights would be different after we had kids. Before kids we'd meet friends, eat or go dancing. After kids your home on the weekend unless you can afford to pay a sitter $10 an hour. So one night the kids were all playing and it was time for dinner and we started talking about going somewhere. We decided it was way to much effort with 5 kids. So someone said "i have some asparagus that's going to go bad, I have some potatoes to use and someone said I have some chicken." and so 'What's rotting in your kitchen' tradition was started. Now on a friday or saturday night when no one has anything planned we get together for a couple hours of playtime and dinner. These nights have become such an important part of my family life. The neighbors became friends and now part of our family. There is nothing like thinking you've got nothing on and then spending a couple hours with some good friends.

3s perfect. Right?

So my youngest child is 17 months and 13 days old. This is the age I have a love/hate relationship with. They are so much work because they are getting into everything. They really don't understand the word no (or at least pretend not to) and never stop until they drop. But... they are these perfect little creatures that melt your heart when they smile and are always ready for a kiss. You can see them learning something new everyday. This is also the time I'm usually pregnant. This time I've decided 3's perfect. I'm good, no more kids needed to feel complete. But. My hormones are playing tricks on me. I know I'm done but then this sweet little baby seems to be getting bigger every second of the day and I'm holding on so tight and I can feel his baby days slipping thru my fingers and his toddler days starting. Soon I won't be able to say I still have a baby. I thought I'd be so happy to get here but now all I want to do is stop time. I am literally in my hardest parenting year (next to the teenage ones) with a 5, 3 and 1 year old. Constantly on the move getting somebody something and trying to keep the house from looking like we were robbed. On top of that trying to find a little time for myself because I've been pregnant or breast feeding for the last 5 years. Now it's time for Mommy to get back in shape and feel pretty and sexy again. So no more baby's for me. I've got the IUD (even though my husband has been begging for a vasectomy since #2) and praying that it works. That's the crazy thing. I KNOW I don't want another one but I can't help but be truly sad that I feel like a beautiful, happy, wonderful part of my life is over and evolving into the next phase. The baby years are almost over for me. I'm enjoying every second I have left and trying to convince myself that 3 is perfect for me. Right?

There's no time for a blog!

About 6 months ago a neighbor of mine told me about her blog and how she can journal, put pictures and then print it out. Your family and friends can read it etc. I thought what a great idea but I don't have time for a blog. I was barely journaling more than once every 3 weeks and I only had time to post something on facebook once every couple days! I had 3 kids under the age of 5, I worked from home part time and already felt like I was overwhelmed. Fast forward 6 months (they've been a blur) and I'm trying to journal more and to take more pictures because I feel like everything is going so fast if I don't write it down or take a picture I won't remember a thing! This is the busiest and hardest time of my life but also the most special and I don't want to forget a thing. Plus with each baby I believe you lose massive amounts of brain cells. I used to be someone with above average intelligence. 3 babies later and I have a friend that says if I have anymore I'll start drooling out of the side of my mouth. I don't know if you lose brain cells or if you just are so busy with the 100 things you need to remember for each child that your brain doesn't function right. Plus being a stay at home mom your surrounded by little people all day and other than learning some Spanish from Dora that's all my brain has to work. So here I am starting a blog. Every thing I think uncensored. I don't have time for this let alone to censor the thoughts coming out of my head. I also think as Mommies we need to be more uncensored. We're all so busy with our lives we need to speak our minds. Tell it like it is. No sugar coating motherhood and no more saying "your life sure is going to change" as if that describes to people what their new life is going to be like. People told us that with each kid and each time I wanted to say "No kidding moron we're having a baby! We know our life is going to change. Now tell us something useful!" So this is me Mommy uncensored.